Sunday, May 6, 2012

A Super Full Moon - Misguided Pontification

“This Taurus/Scorpio Full Moon asks us to become aware of the people and things we give the highest value to, and to look at the emotional trauma that keeps us apart. It’s time to question our values and beliefs about money, power, happiness and our connection to each other and to the Earth. There are powerful forces at work determined to keep the old system alive, regardless of how many people and places it destroys. But we are equally powerful, and the Cosmos is lending us energy to break-through our paralysis and stand up for our beliefs.“

This Scorpio Full Moon is hitting my 2nd house of VALUES and joining hands with my natal Neptune. Spiritual Values take the forefront and the rest lights up for me. This Super Moon has made me sit down to reflect on and make a fresh list of my values. And this list, to my conscious surprise forces me to revise and realign with what my values are today. The values we learn and develop as children or teenager or later as adults can and will change as we change. My personal values are evolving through circumstances with the external world and are changing as I write this post thanks to the help of the energies of this Scorpio Full Moon.

With this full moon comes the darkness of Scorpio that we all embody - death, sex, rebirth, change, transformation, dark emotions, dark thoughts and dark ideas. And instead of denying, I am owning and utilizing them to propel me forward and on ward with my mission on this planet. In my recent past life, when another approaches or chooses to interact or respond to me negatively I would quickly gather my frilly lily dress and compose myself with the need to be a little good girl, I'd retreat and reach out for the stars to bring in the light. I would shy away gave the darkness and the chance to allow it to reveal its message, its beauty and its direction. With Black Lilith conjunct this Full Scorpio Moon, the limitations are lifting and the light is shining into the darkness.

I am normally a direct and outspoken person, but when it comes to working my Mars - the energy of passion, anger, sex and war, I retreat before I battle (thanks to my Mars in the 12th house). I am not sexually aggressive, never knew myself to be (initially I am very receptive)and neither do I go around raging war, waving a knife in the face of another nor do I go around picking fights with others. I am able to remain cool until you try to f*@k with me. My style of fighting is strategic and through a spiritual warfare. This full moon culmination kicked in my Mars. I uncovered a new way to honor my masculine, my passion, my anger, my sexual energy, my ability to move and take action.

What I value is my family! I value the language of my heart and its openness and readiness to trust so easily! I value the creative powers of my womb! I value my right to be at peace and to be true and honest in my relations. I value my personal boundaries. I value the gifts of my soul. I value authentic relationships and those that are clear and accountable for their actions or mistakes. I very much value my personal living space as a sanctuary, a temple space in which my family and I can retreat from the harshness and drama of the world, where we feel safe and secure enough to breathe and be free in who we truly are. To have someone bring lower vibrations and destructive energy into my space and against me is disrespectful and a declaration of war. Yet my style is not one of the physical fights, its that of the spiritual domain where my army of soldiers and protectors exist and in line waiting for my orders. The last couple of weeks have brought moments that drained me in every way. What I saw with my eyes and what I felt were in conflict. This forced me to remember that the unseen world is much more powerful than the visible sphere.

I am no stranger to the human ego battles within relationships. I am no stranger to knowing and understanding that we humans react to fear with anger, anger that stems from insecurity, and with insecurity comes unnecessary drama disguised as reasons to fight or bite the hand that tries to heal you or even feed you. A misguided angry woman is a potentially dangerous woman latching out her tongue and slaying another with threats and violent acts. This aspect and my full moon personal experience can be described injured animal, lashing out in confusion, to potentially cut the person trying to help. I hired someone to help me build my business. An exchange was a major aspect of this - my healing services for their business administrative and organizational services. After less then 30 days, a review revealed that they were not very productive days. I saw the many glitches and signposts I overlooked and the errors in my assessment or judgment (I am rather human). My final decision: Fire them! End the arrangement and go our separate ways before we go any further. Unfortunately it was not received well and thus the war began. Physical confrontation at first then a stream of text messages (misguided pontification) from them revealed the emotional womb poison (their Chiron in the 4th house)that sucked them under, but I kept to my focus and goal which required them to simply leave. Or so I thought.

The entire energy in my Temple space revealed a bad, disgruntled spirit that lingered refusing to leave in peace and accordingly, trying to cling to the peaceful, serene energies that they marveled over and craved in the first place. It was horribly draining and quite stressful upon my family and I. My physical self gave me warnings long before beginning in my womb. My womb felt like it was going to drop out of my vagina - never had that experience before. I was off my moon chart and lost track of my menstrual cycle feeling as though it was late. Then I developed (never before) rash like bumps that began to erupt all over my body. Do you still not get it my inner goddess and spirit family called in to me? I was playing with the devil while it called for kicking its ass. No doubt, a vampire spirit was sucking the life out of me.

Then on Thursday, an awakening began. During a very long and much needed eco-sensual walk with my dog, it became clear that I had to fight the darkness with darkness. I had to use my spiritual powers and gifts to bring about a shift - ones I had hesitated using before. And so it began... my first entry in to my new Book of Shadows. To begin, I was guided to instill a pyramid shield around the Temple which allowed a stream of light to penetrate and filter and saturate the space through the tip of the pyramid top. (Whew!! That was powerful in and of itself.) With the assistance of my armored spirit army that carried spears and shields, the teeth and venom of snakes, Pluto - god of the underground world took shape of a massive head roaring and flaming, doing what was necessary to get them the hell out of my space. I called up my ancestors, my friends and spirit family across the waters and on the continent; I called upon the prayers of local friends to assist, I called upon a friend who leads a spiritual center and another who is the priest of an Akan Temple, I called upon all the planets, the trees, the animals spirits and mother earths womb power to drive the bad spirits from my space. The next day they were out! In the process, they took my two angels that sat on my front porch. Perhaps they tried to remove the symbols of protection so they could believe that I was open and vulnerable or did they, in fear, seek protection from my angels? LOL! No idea what they were thinking but this was the most humorous moment of all. Those angels were the angels of my ex-boyfriend who left here angry and enraged. I knew that their disappearance was a symbol of the ending of such destructive and less than loving relationships! For me it was symbolic of making room for my new angels that had arrived in my life.

Lessons learned as well as lessons shared! It's never a one way street.

I thank the cosmic dance of this Super Full Moon in Scorpio, I thank all those who supported this transformation, I thank the spirit of the one that came and left. I thank all! And I am grateful to my own spirit family and the new members that have joined in. I am ready to move forward and further along with the mission you have entrusted me with Divine Mother, God Father!

** PONTIFICATION: The act of speaking out for the purpose of hearing oneself speak. Posturing...speaking to people that don't really care what you say one way or another since you're speaking solely to front yourself as "someone in charge". Speech or written communication that is generally pointless except to cast favorable light upon the speaker or author as if the message were a pronouncement from on high. Usually full of shit.

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