This morning I woke up from an emotionally touching dream. I quickly jotted down my symbols in my pad sitting on my bed. As I prepared my son for school and for my day, the tears began to well up and stream down my face. I was feeling a movement in my heart area, a sensation took over me. I'll call it LOVE. No clear conscious reason, I was simply present. I was feeling and it was illusive, yet very clear.
In our society, men in particular have been taught not to cry, to put a brave face on things when they get hurt and not show that they are in pain. But wombmyb can fall into this trap too, and all of us at one time or another might feel that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can't be hurt again. If our pain is particularly deep, we might even try to hide it from our selves. This can make us frozen, rigid, because deep down we know that one small break in the ice will free the hurt to start circulating through us again. Yet this is why we create experiences like love affairs that go sour to shatter the walls we construct around our hearts. It's no heartbreak in the sense we've been taught. It's the walls crumbling, the space expanding so the heart can continue to grow and glow.
The rainbow-colored tears on the image above holds the key to breaking out of this 'ice-olation'. The tears, and only the tears, have the power to melt the ice around our hearts. It's okay to cry, and there is no reason to feel ashamed of your tears. Crying helps us to let go of pain, allows us to be gentle with ourselves, and finally helps us to heal.
We are miserable because we are too much in the SELF. What does it mean when I say we are too much in the self? And exactly what happens when we are too much in the self? Either you can be in existence or you can be in the self -both are not possible together. To be in the self means to be apart, to be separate. To be in the self means to be an island. To be in the self means to draw a boundary line around you. To be in the self means to make a distinction between 'this I am' and 'that I am not'. The definition, the boundary, between 'I' and 'not I' is what the self is - the self isolates. And it makes you frozen - you are no longer flowing. If you are flowing self cannot exist.
But Neptune says stop the madness! There's no you and I, no over there and here; no up, no down. We are ONE! And I'll wrap you in my fog so that you can come to know that. In the fog you can't see, therefore you have to rely on your sensing to move through. You have to trust a power greater than your physical self. Her retrograde motion is slowing us down to help us remove the boundaries, the lines, the 'I', the 'You'. And I am feeling the compassion grow in me. My dream last night magically touched down on my 2nd house in which my natal Neptune lives and it also featured my 5th house in which Neptune is currently transiting. Symbols of value, money and then children, romance, a lover were all highlighted! Neptune is so damn amazing! She's not playing with me or is she really? I've struggled with my 2nd house Neptune. And Astrologer Tracy Marks describes it so well with Neptune images that give life to and words to how I am when it comes to money, my possessions, my values:
AN UNEMPLOYED ANGEL - That's me! And "Angel" happens to be my nickname since I was a baby. But the universe has always divinely and magically provided everything I need including a beautiful family, a home Temple and all else... as I have no problem sharing and giving for nothing in return. Can't deny that I am blessed!!
A SURFER'S SOGGY CHECKBOOK: LOL!! Talk about confusion around money. I'll go to the back to make a cash deposit and hold up the line counting my money over and over in a pink smoke. But the goddess dollars I DO believe in and now use more than ever. Currencies that hold the face, the energy and exchanged with the hands of wombmyn who are serving the divine feminine rather than the masculine image and face of dead presidents.
AN ENTREPRENEURIAL LAMB - I am just that. I am not aggressive in trying to sell anything to anyone, I attract rather than pursue. I never get caught up in the rat race or competition. They come to me. Every write up or feature by major media entities came to me. They found me. I didn't go looking for them. ABCNews called me. The New York Times called me and so did the Washington Post and all others that featured me. I didn't go knocking on their doors. Why? Because I am feminine, receptive and gentle as a lamb, confident in my skills, gifts and healing powers. I've changed countless lives and help heal many more behind the scenes.
A SHOPPING CENTER ENVELOPED BY FOG - Goddess knows I hate going to the mall, I get confused and overwhelmed, and am way too sensitive to deal with crowds. I rather shop online or at a small, personable boutique or vintage store.
A UNICORN IN A DEPARTMENT STORE - Your guess is just as good as mine on this one. Standing out? Out of place? Evoking wonder and awe striking? Attracting more customers? LOL What do you get from this Neptune image? Tell me.
A SAVINGS OF HOPES & DREAMS - hehehe.... difficulty saving money as the Neptunian waters wash it away just as quickly as the tides bring money in. But this is my personal path and instead of resisting it, astrology has helped me embrace it and work with it. I trust that I can cash in my HOPES & DREAMS whenever I need to. They are like saving bonds. I can sell many of my creative ideas that are in abundance. Most of which I've simply given away.
I am grateful for this NEPTUNE transit and that of VENUS. It actually feels very familiar since my life path is summed up by the energies of my natal SATURN in PISCES - the sign ruled by Neptune. I'm a dreamer, says Neptune. But I'm a practical dreamer, says father Saturn.
When I cry, it melts the walls around my heart and it softens every fiber of my physical being. I am rinsed, cleansed and whole again, opening the portal for the abundance and love to flow in and for the presence of my Angels to be felt strongly again.
Would you like to learn about your Neptune or have a Goddess Love Reading? Send me an email - ecosensualliving at gmail dot com. I'll be happy to open the doors to your own Neptune world... maybe - like me - you'll just start crying to be healed again!
added inspiration from Osho Zen Tarot
