Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Dark & Light MOTHER!

Aaaaah! The beautiful birthing and mothering energies are all around me.  As the Sun waltz down the Cancer ball room or runs free in the poppy fields of summer, the whispers of the divine mother within and without beckons me to see, feel, experience and even taste the blend of both the light and dark energies of the mothering principles. 
In my backyard on the old sensory light, a mother bird has diligently built her nest, laid her eggs and have been nursing them for a few weeks now.  A couple of days ago I observed a bird fly on the nest while mother bird took flight. It looked like they were changing shifts. I discovered that it very well is the male/father bird helping out.  What a beautiful bird culture, I thought. Those moments were heart touching for me. We humans can certainly learn from the animals around us.  As I sit on the back deck each time, absorbing the peaceful breeze and the sun, I admire her wonderful mothering instincts as she never flies far away from her nest and she usually heads for the ground where she scans for what she needs and then flies back on her throne.

On the home front and within my inner walls, my very own mothering energies are rising up in flames burning and moving to the desires and need to mother, nurture and comfort not only my child and all those around me and in my circle, but the need to be with the mother within, to spend time with her, to chat and snuggle up together has been quite alive inside these days.  One thing I discovered is that the mother in me is big on nurturing self and others through food. She tells me that she learned it from my biological mother. Come to visit me and I'll always have food for you.  Food has been the ultimate nurturing material in my life – for better and for worst.

Shortly after the sun entered Cancer, I spoke with my biological mother with whom I’ve struggled with ever since I was a little girl. Our beliefs and methods of mothering have always clashed even when I was a little girl.  The last time I saw here (a year and a half ago) she was in her dark mothering mode and a big clash occurred that sent me off and on my way.  Ever since I was a little girl her dark mothering modes were known for making me feel unloved and unaccepted.   I have struggled with this conflict while shedding many rivers of tears and questioning my own self-worth.  A mother can make or break her children, let alone her nest.  I have grown considerably and have learned that she really has been my teacher all along. I’ve had to learn how to forgive her and how to even protect myself from her dark and destructive ways  I now know it’s wise and healthy to honor the pathway of loving her from a distance.

Cancer also happens to sit at the cusp of my 10th house of career, public image as opposed to private image, the parent of greater influence (usually the mother) and people who may have power or authority over us (bosses, judges, etc.)  Ironically, I dance with all these figures during this transit and I honor the dance and each their spirit. What I’ve come head on with during this particular transit - which also collides with first a lunar eclipse and now a current solar eclipse - is the mothering essence as it has been expressed through my work in the past and how I need to share it with the world today. As a yoga teacher, massage therapist and holistic health practitioner (among other things) I’ve always been told that my touch is very nurturing and comforting.  Clearly, the mother in me seek to come alive in my career path this lifetime around. 

The womb is also ruled by Cancer.  About a year ago, my practice shifted into and began to focus on the womb. I began writing a book on the womb and hit a wall when I came face to face with the depths of my very own.  I attempted to train women to become womb activists and in the process discovered that I had a whole lot more to learn and experience around the womb.  The training literally opened up Pandora’s Box and brought to light a lot of unresolved issues for each participant while making sure I was not left out.  It is time that I reopen the project and forge ahead because it clearly is the path of service and career that I agreed to do and deliver in this lifetime.  And of course, love, relationships and sex are all elements of the womb and cannot be left out of the equation.   Christine DeLorey, of creative numerology helped me see much clearer into the energy dance that July will bring for me.  She reminds me to evoke and activate the magician by knowing, being clear on what I need to change and then changing it.  LOL!! Easier said than done right? But like a mother, I am determined to do what I need to do because the change is already in effect and there’s no turning back.
Stay tuned to the developments over the course of the month of July! I suspect that the universe is ordering me to share it through my public life (career)…. Something I’ve resisted and shied away from for quite some time. And the new moon SOLAR eclipse in Cancer is saying SHARE with the world.  But hey.... that’s the Cancer vibes for you… secretive and private by nature.

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